Monday, February 22, 2010


It has taken me 5 long months to get over Paul. For the very, very, few of you who don't know who Paul is I will explain, (everyone else does because I literally speak of him every 10 minutes.) Paul was my exboyfriend, my first real boyfriend we dated on and off for a year and a half. We would be together for a few months break up for 1-2 weeks then get back together. I know healthy huh. lol. It took me THAT long to realize that probably isn't the best thing for relationships. Anyways, he was a prick enough said. He could be REALLY mean to me and I just put up with all his crap (examples; going on trips with other girls, smoking all the time, yelling, putting me down, alot more) When I realized it was finally over and he wasn't gonna take me back It killed me. I dont know why he's obviously a jerk and It wasnt a good situation but it felt better then being single and alone. In my mind, if I lost Paul that was it. I was bound to be a woman applying for social security benefits checking the single box with 30 cats and watching Matlocke.

I spent the last 5 months in various ways trying to win him back. It was bad I got a little Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction thing going on. I called ALL the time, texted, even went to his work begging him and sobbing. He stopped taking my calls, basically told me to leave him alone. It was really hard for me to hear that. I was mortified, it was the most depressed I have ever been. Then one day it literally just clicked. I thought why the hell am I begging this idiot who I was miserable dating to take me back? Why should I spend my time with him when I could be keeping myself for someone amazing, who actually knows how to drive decently and doesnt wanna kill me each time Im in the vehicle. I can't even begin to explain how happy I was finally I can move on with my life.

I now think of it as a really good learning experience, basically what I don't want in a man. It is so freaking freeing to write this and actually mean it. For those of you who put up with him and me talking about him all the time. I appreciate it so much. I am now free of Paul and am so ready to get on with my life this will be my last post about Paul. Have a wonderful day!!!

1 comment:

  1. Reading this blog actually really helped me. My boy and I had been dating for about two and a half years. It used to be on and off, but for about eight months, it had been on. We were planning on moving in together after graduating in May and I was so excited about it.
    This weekend I was out of town and we were great the whole time. Talked on the phone every night, he was totally sweet and so on. On Saturday, he had an awful day in that one of his friends committed suicide and my boy was the one who found him. When I got back in town yesterday, my boyfriend insisted he was okay and that it was his friend's choice, so why should he be upset.
    However, then out of nowhere, he went on this huge angry rampage throwing furniture in his house all over the place. I tried to calm him down and he turned it on me. He told me we were done and there's no way he would ever live with me.
    Then, he punched me. In the face. And it hurts so bad to say that, because I'm still so totally in love with him and want him to just come back to me. I know he's really upset and has awful ways of dealing with it, but that hitting me is NEVER ok.
    Just the thought of moving on is so painful right now. I'm sorry to post like my life story here, but I needed to tell someone and my friends would all just flip out...